1. “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice” (source)
2. “Because I have sacrificed real life to be a celebrity and to give this art to people, which is great. It is great that I was able to do that…” (source)
3. “I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” (source)
4. “Come on now! How could you be me and want to be someone else?” (source)
   
5. “In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don’t ever want me to say I’m great?” (source)
   
6. “…my music isn’t just music- it’s medicine.” (source)
   
7. “If I was more complacent and I let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn’t be as entertained. My misery is your pleasure.” (source)
   
8. “So when he (Thom Yorke of Raiohead) performed at the Grammys, I sat the f— down” (source)
9. “Can’t we give Chris [Brown] a break? … I know I make mistakes in life.” (source)
10. “Due to what has happened so severely when the red shoes hit the runway, I was forced to change my name to Martin Louis the King Jr. Address me as such” (source)

You know you’ve seen it. You know you want it. I mean, it’s got “Wow” in its name! And “you know the Germans always make good stuff!” It looks as though people should have focused more on the other part of the name, “sham.”

People who have used this product claim that it doesn’t work, that it merely pushes the water around. In the infomercial, professional pitchman Vince Offer states that the ShamWow can soak up 20x its weight in water. Some who bought it say that it’s like cheap felt with “Made in Germany” stamped on it. 20 times the weight of cheap felt isn’t much…

One of the biggest red flags is in the infomercial itself, if you are able to pay attention without being to wowed. You’ll notice the part where he pours soda on the carpet and it flows out and onto the surface. When it cuts to a closeup where Vince is about to soak up the soda, the overspill is gone! Here it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDhct6hRNpo[/youtube]

So, who is this Vince Offer guy? Besides looking like the love child of Cornholio and a Gremlin, apparently, he’s a failed comedian / film maker who created a movie, backed by the Church of Scientology, called Underground Comedy Movie. The movie turned out to be extremely offensive flop, so the COS bad-mouthed him and pulled funding. He’s now on a crusade, of sorts, against the COS having sued them, along with the Farrelly brothers and Anna Nicole Smith. Vince got into schlepping products at flea markets and came across an absorbent towel that he called ShamWow. He’s also seen on TV selling the Slap Chop and using double entendres like, “you’re going to love my nuts!”

What is the appeal of Vince Offer, as far as direct product marketing goes? He learned early on that the more aggressive approach sells more products, something he learned from his experience working flea markets. It’s also, some speculate, due to the nifty headset. Sure, he’s on TV and it’s a completely unnecessary accessory, but there’s something about a guy wearing a headset that draws you in and makes you think here’s someone who knows what he’s talking about.

Here is fellow television pitchman Billy Mays, of OrangeGlo, OxiClean and Mighty Putty fame, calling Vince Offer out on the Adam Carolla show… Years ago Billy Mays marketed the same product, but it was called Zorbeez.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPLrm3Omkjg[/youtube]

It looks like Adam Carolla, of Loveline, The Man Show and Crank Yankers fame, is leaving terrestrial radio. Well, actually, he may be being forced out as the station is being turned into another Top 40 cesspool. I’ve been a pretty big fan of his for quite some time, but since I got SIRIUS satellite radio, I haven’t listened to much on the FM dial. Unfortunately, now there’s going to be nothing worth switching to when Howard Stern is a rerun, which is fairly often.

Apparently, he will be doing a free podcast instead of his morning talk show. What I really wish this departure from radio meant was that Top Gear America, on which he was to be a host, was going to be aired on American TV. Some sources claim that the series is still in the works, while Jalopnik states that NBC has cut the show because of Knight Rider’s failure. I hope that the BBC is able to sell it to another outlet. If Top Gear America can find the light of day it will likely include Adam Carolla, professional race car driver Tanner Foust and HGTV home improvement star Eric Stromer.

Some fans may remember this gem from a few years ago where he hung up on Ann Coulter and called her a bitch. Few people, if any, have the balls to do that. Check it out, it’s priceless!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4hacmvSPaI[/youtube]

And now there’s word they’re making it better…

On April 20, 2009 PepsiCo will start to sell Pepsi and Mountain Dew with real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). Some speculate that this may be due, in part, to the Jewish celebration of Passover, and will only be available until June. And, supposedly, it will be priced the same as regular Pepsi.

High fructose corn syrup is among the ranks of those things we’re told to avoid, like trans fats, saturated fats, MSG, etc. Lately the debate about the dangers, or benefits, of HFCS has been heated. Studies show a direct link between increased use of HFCS and rising rates of obesity, yet the Corn Refiners Association has struck out on a nationwide multi million dollar campaign to tell you otherwise. Personally, I don’t have an opinion on whether or not HFCS alone is a cause of obesity, but I think it’s clear that if you eat or drink any products with large amounts of sweeteners, artificial or not, your diet needs work…

Every so often I toy with the idea of switching from Pepsi to, say, green tea. But, green tea is so bitter that I need to add sugar, which probably defeats most of the healthy attributes. I don’t recall ever having Pepsi with real sugar, so I am definitely looking forward to this. I may have to put off weening myself of this syrupy goodness for a while longer.

Let’s just hope they don’t bring back Crystal Pepsi…

WASHINGTON (AP) — Postmaster General John Potter says the massive deficits facing the post office could force the agency to cut out one day of mail delivery per week.

In testimony for a congressional panel Wednesday, Potter asked for an end to the requirement that the agency deliver mail six days a week.

Faced with dwindling mail volume and rising costs, the post office was $2.8 billion in the red last year.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, WTF?!! It seems like they keep raising postage at a rate of one cent per year, or more, and now they need to take another day off because that money wasn’t enough… How is this possible?

In my opinion, it’s no longer affordable to send letters via the USPS and there’s little need with email and automatic bill pay. I understand that because of those things, revenue may be dropping, hence the need for higher rates. But can’t they figure out something else to save money? Further automation? Vehicle with better fuel economy or use alternatives to gasoline?

They have already forced new housing developments, at least in this area, to have cluster boxes so the delivery people only need to make one stop, rather than visit each house individually. Personally, cluster boxes annoy me and I’d rather have the convenience of a mailbox at my house. It also reminds me of an apartment experience with the gossiping women, hanging around the mail boxes, talking smack about everyone that walks by. I like my neighbors, but not enough to get caught up in that crap.

So, what day would it be, Saturday? It’s bad enough, when you’re expecting something important, and it doesn’t come on Saturday to wait until Monday for it to be delivered. But, if it were another day of the week, would that have a dramatic effect on businesses? Unfortunately, Saturday may be the only logical choice.

I’ll admit that I typically check my mailbox on Sundays, just in case. This would really drive me nuts…

Sorry for the bad cell phone picture…

Note that the sign is not a quickly scribbled, poorly spelled, notice that was taped to the window by a cashier, but that it appears to have come from corporate, unlike this one on Consumerist.com. Plus, you’ll notice that the price has gone up from ten cents to 15 or 20 cents per sauce packet.

A while back on Consumerist, they had another story about McDonald’s only selling bottled water and no longer offering cups of water. Check the link – that sign was obviously made “in-house.”

“People are reluctant to buy our cars because of the perception that maybe the quality isn’t what it should be,” Swift said. “Therefore, they’re going to buy Japanese, they’re going to buy a German car, forgetting that 50 years ago, we had to bomb those people and kill them by the thousands to keep them from overtaking our country.”

Are you serious? Way to represent Sacramento… Japlopnik.com, a well known automotive blog, gives him “the most xenophobic car dealer award.” Apparently, as some commenters pointed out, Mr. Swift has forgotten that many American cars are made in Mexico. I would propose that the Mexican-American War is just as relevant as WWI or WWII to his theory.